What is Domestic Abuse? Understanding the Signs

It’s completely normal to find it hard to recognise when something you’re experiencing or witnessing is domestic abuse. Many people think domestic abuse only means physical violence, but it can also be emotional, controlling, or threatening behaviour.

In Scotland, it’s officially defined as a pattern of abuse by a partner or ex-partner that causes harm, whether emotional, physical, financial or psychological, and it’s a crime. Understanding this is a vital step in knowing when something isn’t right and seeking support.

Domestic abuse can be difficult to recognise. These questions and your answers to them may help you to think about your relationship.

Still not sure? Need more information? Here are some examples to help you gain a clearer understanding of the different behaviours that make up domestic abuse. Remember, it is a pattern of behaviour to gain power and control, so it happens repeatedly.

• Coercive Control – If someone controls your life through threats, isolation or constant pressure.
• Physical Abuse – If someone hurts you by hitting, pushing, or using physical force.
• Emotional or Psychological Abuse – If someone puts you down, scares you, or messes with your head, “feeling like you are walking on eggshells.”
• Sexual Abuse – If someone forces or pressures you into doing sexual things you don’t want or forces you to watch pornography.
• Economic Abuse –If someone controls and undermines your economic resources, such as housing, clothing, transport, documents, employment, or money.
• Financial Abuse – A form of economic abuse where someone controls your money, takes your wages or benefits, blocks your bank account, forces you into debt or refuses to give you access to household finances.
• Harassment – If someone keeps bothering or intimidating you, perhaps using social media, phone or text messages, even after you’ve asked them not to.
• Stalking – If someone constantly follows, messages, or watches you in a way that feels scary.
• Technology abuse – If somebody uses technology to harass, control, monitor, intimidate or threaten you.