by womensaidscot17 | Oct 2, 2024 | Uncategorised
This blog was written by a member of our Survivor Reference Group. We thank her for her reflections.
Content warning: this blog discusses domestic abuse, violence against women and the murder of women.
Last week I stood on the spot where a woman lost her life. A group of us heard how, on 17th October 1720 Margaret Hall’s young life was cut short. She was brutally murdered by her husband. It wasn’t the first attempt on her life perpetrated by him. At the time the people of Edinburgh, shocked and saddened by her murder, built a cairn on the spot where she died to remember her. We were told that, of course, this was probably the exact spot, but the years had blurred any certainty. However, the years hadn’t diminished that gut wrenching feeling when we hear of such a tragedy and the horror of the details.
Moving forward to today, we are still hearing similar stories of women who fall victim to violent men. We often imagine the mistreatment of women to be something in the past when we were more brutal, less civilised maybe, so why then are we still hearing the devastating stories of women losing their lives to domestic violence? The deaths of women make the headlines and the others who suffer in silence daily being deadened by abusive behaviour often aren’t heard. Sometimes we aren’t aware that the behaviours we manage everyday in our homes are abuse. Sometimes they are offset by charm and promises. Other times there is just simply nowhere else to go.
Domestic abuse is not limited to the headlines of horrific behaviours. It can be the everyday loss of freedoms such as handling our own money, deciding where we want to go and who we want to spend our time with, whether we have sex or not, and whether we are allowed to answer back.
Standing there in the sunlight of a beautiful autumn morning, shoulder to shoulder with people who cared, circled by the press, whose job it is to report such tragic events, I was aware that in 300 years we hadn’t come that far. As a society, we express horror when a woman loses her life in this way but what are we really doing to prevent this from happening?
I once saw a message left by a graffiti artist that read “ A country is only as great as the way it treats its women”. How great are we?, I wondered as I stood there with the beautiful backdrop of Edinburgh behind me, proud to be amongst others who care. What can we do to protect women and girls from day to day? How can we do more? Why are we still treated by some men as second class citizens, some lesser beings without a voice?
Standing in that spot I was also grateful that I survived
If you are looking for support around domestic abuse, please contact Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline on 0800 027 1234, email and web chat at www.sdafmh.org.uk or WhatsApp/Text on 07401288595.
by womensaidscot17 | Jun 5, 2024 | Uncategorised
As the UK General Election is due to take place on 4 July 2024 this update contains details on how to keep your voting registration details private and other important information for those affected by domestic abuse.
The deadline for registering to vote for the upcoming UK election is midnight on Tuesday 18 June 2024. You can register to vote here Register to vote – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
If your details on the electoral register might put your safety at risk, you can register anonymously so that your details, including your address, are not publicly available.
There are three steps to register to vote anonymously. You will need to:
- download and complete the application form
- explain why your safety, or the safety of someone in your household, would be at risk if your details were on the electoral register
- submit evidence to support your registration
You will need to return your application form, explanation and evidence to your local electoral registration office.
Once you are registered your electoral registration office will not disclose your details to anyone, unless they are legally required to. Anonymous registration only lasts for one year, so you must reapply each year. Your electoral registration office will contact you when it is time for you to reapply.
See more details here including the application form – Register to vote anonymously | Electoral Commission
For your safety, you can apply for a postal vote by 5pm on Wednesday 19 June 2024 or if you wish to vote in person you need to apply for an Anonymous Elector’s Document ahead of polling day. The deadline for this is 5pm on Wednesday 26 June and the details are in the link above.
See postal vote application details here – Apply to vote by post | Electoral Commission
by womensaidscot17 | Mar 20, 2024 | Uncategorised
This month marks two years since Scottish Women’s Aid’s Survivor Reference Group (SRG) began its inspiration and impactful work.
The group works to create a vital space for those with experience of domestic abuse to encourage policy and wider societal changes.
We can think of no better way to celebrate this milestone than to shine a light on some of the incredible progress made by one of the SRG’s members, Vicki.
As highlighted in the media this week, Vicki has continued to turn her personal pain into power, pushing for the development of workplace policies and practices to help make women safer.
Vicki has supported her own workplace – along with Grampian Women’s Aid – to raise awareness of domestic abuse. Through sharing her own experiences and expertise, Vicki has highlighted how employers can best support those experiencing domestic abuse, both past and present.
‘The policy encompasses training and awareness programmes for managers and employees, and is designed to help employers both understand domestic abuse and support those who have experienced or are currently experiencing it. As its ambassador, I am empowered to share my story and, in turn, to help protect others.’
To read Vicki’s full article, click here
by womensaidscot17 | Dec 12, 2023 | Uncategorised
For Them All poem marking the end of 16 Days of Activism 2023
Written by members of the Survivor Reference Group at Scottish Women’s Aid
Extended version
For the women who we knew and loved
For the children that never got the chance to play nosily and without fear
For my friend, who loved to sing
For my auntie, who gave the best advice
For all the women who’ve had to walk on eggshells
For all the families that were torn apart by a man’s violent actions
For the young woman who dreamed of being a teacher
For the older woman, who wasn’t allowed to leave the house alone
For the wee boy, who tried to protect his mum
For the wee girl, who grew up thinking love meant loud voices and angry faces
For the women who deserved better
For the women we no longer have with us but will never forget
For the little girl who still thinks she was the problem
For the little boy who wants to be a policeman so he can lock his dad up
For the mum in the school playground with her brave face
For my friend, who doesn’t know she deserves much better
For the grandmas, who have served a life sentence
For the women who had trusted and whose trust was broken
For the women who were not believed
For the girl who kept having nightmares of losing her mum
For the mothers stuck in child custody cases for years
For the children whose mum was not there at bedtime
For the boys who were told their mum did not care about them
For the mothers who tried to protect their children
For the women who had thought they were marrying a companion
For the women who were hated
For the women who found they were not loved
For the women who were made out to be weak and stupid
For the little girls punished by their fathers
For the children made to stand alone in the dark
For the children who were hit
For the children who were ignored when they wept
For all the pain and all the hurt we will not be silenced
For all the women we will hold the line and campaign against male violence
For them all
by womensaidscot17 | Oct 3, 2023 | Uncategorised
Got 10 seconds? Text us.
Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline exists for anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse or forced marriage. But we know not everyone is safe to call us by phone. That’s why we’re adding a text chat service to our line-up of ways you can reach out to us.
Originally, the Helpline was available by phone or email. In 2020, we added our web chat service, which reaches 300 people every month – that’s over a quarter of the people who contact us. Not being overheard is a major reason people reach out by web chat. But because web chat needs a good internet connection and enough safe time to spend with our staff, it doesn’t work for everyone.
Imagine a woman – let’s call her Olivia. Olivia’s partner controls her movements, telling her where she can go and who she can see. He locks her phone away in a drawer when she is at home, so Olivia only has access to her phone when she is at work or on errands. She has been wanting to reach out for help, but only has short moments in the day when she can talk privately.
Now imagine Elsie, 80 years old, living in the Highlands. She wants to get away from the husband who has been abusing her for the last 50 years, but she has no internet and relies on her old Nokia phone to talk to people. She would like to call us, but worries about being overheard.
So, what do you do if you only have a few seconds of safety? And what do you do if you don’t have reliable internet access?
These were the questions that we asked when we approached the National Lottery for funding for an SMS and WhatsApp service.
And the National Lottery thought these were excellent questions and funded us for three years to find the best answers.
We started by talking to our service users – the people who know the most about what is safe and convenient in a domestic abuse or forced marriage situation. We surveyed previous callers to the Helpline, with guidance and direction from the Scottish Women’s Aid Survivor Reference Group.
A text service needs to be quick and easy, they said. It should be staffed by experts and, most of all, it must be safe.
For experts, we are already covered. All of our call handlers are specially trained.
The same people who staff our phones, email and webchat will be operating the new SMS/WhatsApp service.
Our information, advice and empathy are exactly the same, whichever way you choose to contact us.
And if you need a quick and easy reply, an SMS or WhatsApp message takes seconds to write and send, and we will receive it instantly.
That’s the beauty of text.
If Olivia only has a few seconds while she is at the till in the shop, she can drop us a message and get a reply the next time it is safe for her to look at her phone.
And you don’t need to have the internet to talk to us on SMS. Elsie’s phone will work, as will any that can make calls.
Safety is our priority. When you send us a message, the following things will happen:
- You will get an automatic reply, to let you know we’ve received the message. That reply will also include instructions about deleting our messages quickly if you need to.
- We will only ever send you one message at a time, and then wait for you to reply. If you do not reply, we will never send a follow-up message, just in case it isn’t safe.
- You can tell us when it is safe to send you messages, and we will only ever send you replies at those times.
- Our phone number shows as a random mobile number on both SMS and WhatsApp. You can name it anything you want in your phone – “Jane”, “Dog Sitter” or “Mum”.
- On WhatsApp, the conversation will not appear on any bills. On SMS, the number will be listed as the generic mobile number on itemised bills.
- You can tell us to stop sending you messages at any time. You are in control of the flow of messages.
- WhatsApp is encrypted. There is no way for anyone who does not have access to your passwords to see your conversation with us.
Because of the popularity of WhatsApp among younger people, we also consulted with young people who have experienced abuse.
As with older people, safety was paramount for them. From an SMS/WhatsApp service, they wanted:
- Emotional support
- Accurate information about domestic abuse and forced marriage
- Links and signposts of where to go for more information or support
We already provide these forms of support through our other channels, and we can’t wait to bring our skills to a new medium. This is an exciting new chapter in the life of Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline. Through our new SMS/WhatsApp service, we hope to help more people experiencing domestic abuse and forced marriage than ever before.
by womensaidscot17 | Jun 13, 2023 | Uncategorised
This poem was written by a member of the SWA staff team after a woman was jailed for 28 months after using abortion pills to end her own pregnancy. Abortion is healthcare, and we need urgent reform so that women can freely access the choices that are safest for them.
You’re outraged?
I’m enraged.
When will our bodies be our own without the interference of others hands, thoughts and rules?
Consumed with this fury I want to climb to the roof and scream until I feel my vocal cords pop
I want to rally my sisters
To scream together, cry, roar, brandish our teeth
You think you know female rage? You know nothing.
I want us to move as one
Bodies holding each other up as we climb the walls of that prison
Tearing through metal and stone
Retrieving our sister
Carrying her to a place of safety, understanding, love.
How dare you imprison her.
How dare you give her longer than men who hurt, abuse and kill us.
How dare you give her a sentence at all.
When you imprison one, you imprison us all
We will not forget.
#AbortionIsHealthcare
Access to abortion care safely and freely is vital for all women – especially women experiencing domestic abuse, for whom forced pregnancy is often a reality.
If you are looking for support around domestic abuse, please contact Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline on 0800 027 1234 or email and web chat at www.sdafmh.org.uk
